January 10th, 2013 was a day I'll probably NEVER forget. It was the day my heart was broken. And when I say broken I mean my heart was shattered into a million pieces and I didn't think I would ever feel normal again. Overdramatic? Looking back absolutely but in that moment I felt like everything I knew was crumbling. The thing that I had become attached to and had trusted and essentially put my faith in left and I was standing there alone. Or so I thought. I couldn't see the future, all I saw was my complete brokenness and the empty hole that was now in my heart. I cried everyday for a solid three weeks and I'm pretty sure my family was going to put me in a nuthouse. I just couldn't stop being miserable and I couldn't stop missing him.
But, guess what? JESUS CHANGED MY LIFE. He 100% without a doubt CHANGED MY LIFE.
He brought my sweet friend Sarah back into my life and she brought me hope. She met with me countless times and took me with her to this young adult group she went to called "Living Room." (The Living Room changed my life too but that could be a whole other post.) I began journaling consistently and found myself reading my Bible multiple times throughout the day. I no longer had facebook so I was able to really focus my heart on Jesus. He restored my joy! I'm pretty sure I had a smile plastered on my face ALL the time. Suddenly I was filled with an intense love for others and little things didn't bug me as much. If I could show you my journals from January of last year to now the growth is INCREDIBLE. I'm not ashamed of who I was because I wouldn't have grown or be who I am now without being that person first.
That's the thing though, about Jesus, he makes you new. He takes all of the broken, the hurt, the emptiness, the ugly, the torn apart, the negativity and he makes you new. He changes you. He takes your heart and puts it back together, this time putting himself in the center. If I had been Christ focused before I had my heart broken it probably would be a different story. But, because of my sinful, selfish nature God was not the center and I fell apart. If Mandisa had written her song "Overcomer" last year, it would've been my theme song. Because guess what?
He can do that with ANYONE. He can restore your joy. He can conquer your fear. He can help you overcome. He can heal your broken heart that you never thought could be whole again. It takes making intentional choices to put him first even when it hurts. It takes an intentional choice to choose Jesus even when you feel like you can't. It takes courage even when you're scared. It takes raw honesty with those around you.
Last year this day, I never thought I would be writing this. I didn't think there was anything good left. I didn't think that my heart would feel whole again. And yet, here I am.
Jesus changes lives. I'm living proof of that.
